When things are so hectic and stressful, what can you do but to pray and hang on?

I can not believe the ride we are fixing to take.  And here I though things had just settled down into a nice "normal" rhythm.  HA!  That's what I get for thinking that.

Nothing drastic has happened, I am just looking at the short term future.

And I see the next six months, me growing this tiny little baby inside of me, thinking of the life that will come to us in the new year.  Of the unique person that she (or he) will be.  And I want to cherish every moment of this.

But then there is Mom.  Her test results came back worse than she thought and she is going to have to do some sort of chemo or something of the like.  That is likely to begin in a few weeks (seems like an awful long time to wait to begin, but then I am not her doctor).  As it stands, she will be out of work for 3-4 wks just because of her surgery, and if she does do chemo or something, I can not imagine her actually being able to work for quite some time, though I could be wrong.  I have offered her our home, although I don't know if she will be willing to let go of her place and her "freedom".  I just know that no work means no income, which means something has to give.

Then we will have to just deal with all the basic physical and emotional needs that are bound to come with her illness and treatment.  Although, perhaps a new little life to look forward to will boost her emotions.

And on top of that 1of9 is going through a lot right now.  And having her move back in is the right thing and I am very happy.  But we will also be having to deal with the physical and emotional needs of that situation over the next few months.

Seems like an awful lot of pressure.  And here the next three months are supposed to be the "best" months of my pgcy!  Oh, well.  They are what I make them, that is for sure.  And I intend to make them the best of my life (until they are gone, then I will make the following ones the best of my life)!    No sense in letting myself get down.  I have a life to live.  I have a family to care for.  And my God is REALLY GOOD!

Well, here I am, in the middle of the night, not able to sleep again.    Thanks to circumstances I have not had much rest this week, but for some reason, no matter how early I fall to sleep I am waking up in the middle of the night unable to get back to sleep.  I just want to scream!

Mom's surgery went well today, or so I have been told.  I did not actually go down to the hospital, since I had my children and husband to care for.  And since all the other family was there to hang out.  I just don't do well with hospitals.  I don't like them.  And with me being pg, I don't feel comfortable hanging around in such a germ filled place waiting for a surgery to be over only to not really be able to do anything.  Even the family that did go only saw her after the surgery, but she was not awake.  So, see, it would have really not done me good to go.

Our family friend, and I guess I would consider Mom's best friend hung out all day there and was going to say the night with her.  So, I figure that is good and if anything of importance happens she will let me know.  (And Mom will not be alone.)

Seems the doc was already talking chemo, though, so I am guessing he found a lot of not so great stuff.  Mom was hoping that surgery would be the end of it.

I am not sure where this road is heading, but we are traveling on it, so I am here for the long haul.

To top everything else off, we brought our oldest daughter back home this week.

I know, she is an adult.  But really, she had gotten herself into a situation that was only going downhill, with life in the gutter or jail as the final destination.  And we being the loving parents that we are and care so deeply for our child's well being, even though she is no longer a child, took it upon ourselves to do something about it.

No, we did not "force" her to come back, but I will say that she is less than pleased at this moment with the situation.

It is so hard to get a child-adult to understand sometimes that there is something wrong.  1of9 is so very trusting.  It is her weakness (as well as strength).  And when she is in a position that she is being used by those she looks up to, well, I have a problem with that.

I am Mamma Bear, hear me roar! 

But, I did not instigate this, Daddy Bear did.    And woe to him that steps in Angry Daddy Bears way!  He is intimidating at his most docile.

Let's just say, I did not imagine four days ago that our daughter would be back under our roof.  I am very pleased, though.  And our goal is to help her get her feet back on the ground, get into a position of having a stable paycheck, and get her back out on her own ASAP.  But, the right way.  Not dependant on other people, and not being used by others.

I can not stand a user!

But, I guess what is the most infuriating is the fact that the "Christians" she has been hanging out with have such an unChristian attitude and behaviour.  We taught our daughter better than that.  And then for these people to come in and exert such an unhealthy influence over her and turn her into a "usee" (for lack of a better word), I am angry!  Some of these people are MINISTERS!  I expected better from them! 

I have a feeling that everything is about to change now, though.  We took our daughter out of the unhealthy situation, but have not forced her to cut ties (one of these people is her boyfriend whom she truly wants to marry, so we are treating him as potential family at this time even though we are very angry at him).  I mean, she is an adult after all, not a minor child.  But, the tables have turned.  She is no longer an asset to them.  She has, thanks to us, become a definite liability.  (As we are making waves in their lives by them using her and not only allowing but enabling bad decisions and inappropriate actions.) 

We have not exactly gone out of our way to make trouble, but, trouble seems to be finding its way to our door.  (They called us and asked us what was going on, but they did not like what we had to say to them.)

But, typically, a user will use someone as long as they are useable, and when they are no longer "valuable" they toss them aside and find a new usee.  So, I guess we will see how deep the relationships goes.  If her current "liability" status causes them to walk away from her, then we will know we were right.  However, there is the possibility that the entire situation will cause them to make a stand.  And if they stand by her, even as a liability, well, let's just say there may be hope after all for their continued place in her life.  Anyone can change, and I am not hoping for the worst, just the best for my daughter.

And, best of all, no matter how upset 1of9 was over the situation, she knows we love her unconditionally no matter what.  And we will get through this, with God's help.